With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore
‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the house
All the creatures were stirring, including our mouse;
The stockings were created by April with flair,
Since it will be St. Nicholas’ first visit there;
The bedrooms were cleaned up and repainted,
It took several weekends and I nearly fainted,
The house now looks great and is ready to roll,
We made it by the 22nd, oddly ahead of our goal.
Our children will return home to snuggle in their beds,
While visions of Bloody Mary’s dance in their heads;
And mamma in her robe, and I in my cap,
Plan to pass out after Xmas lunch for a long winter’s nap,
The tree is all set with decorations in place,
Its bushy as required by the woman who runs this place.
Old time lights make it pretty like days of yore,
Causing a 10pm visit to WalMart for more.
The guest list is for seven, plus five dogs in tow,
Will the refreshed house survive? Gosh I don’t know,
We’ve stocked up on paper towels and Febreez,
With anticipation that the smell will make us wheez.
Five dogs on the lawn will create such a clatter,
Every movement will likely involve stepping in a splatter.
Our dogs range in size from beast to she-devil,
Despite the size, the interaction is surprisingly civil.
Outside, the Fam will be praying for some new-fallen snow
To create some kind of luster, hiding the lawn and “objects” below,
We’ll be stepping lightly each day, much like a minefield,
Clearly not wearing new Xmas shoes, but still needing to yield,
Its Hudson and Peyton & Stella from Virginia,
With Jackpot and Jellyroll who always win-ya.
All over the porch, and running down the hall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
The Fam will gather for a seven fishes meal,
With FullBellyBlog leading the kitchen detail.
On Xmas Eve and Day the food courses will fly,
With our fridge full of grub, there will be plenty to try.
Of course the bar will be plentiful with Wally on point,
There will be vodka, gin, bourbon, and lotsa wine in this joint
Strict rules however, to keep the Fam in line,
Drinking begins no later than nine!
Xmas morning will come and Wally give’s the team a whistle,
And away they will party like they’re riding a missile.
But, all will exclaim, as the food and drink vanish from sight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!