{"id":375,"date":"2015-11-22T15:38:25","date_gmt":"2015-11-22T20:38:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/?p=375"},"modified":"2015-11-22T16:11:07","modified_gmt":"2015-11-22T21:11:07","slug":"hudsons-view-bird-dog-of-alcatraz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/?p=375","title":{"rendered":"Hudson’s View: Bird Dog of Alcatraz"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Hud\"<\/a>\"hudson<\/a><\/p>\n

\"'I<\/a>

‘I don’t understand: I just went for a little walk in town… How is that a crime?’<\/p><\/div>\n

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Quite the week here at WallyWorld.<\/p>\n

We experienced a series of events which significantly changed the face of how we get along, treat each other with respect and build or tear down trust.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not speaking of the tragedies in Paris last week; although my puppy heart goes out to the Parisians and especially Diesel the hero dog\u2026a sad and heroic story indeed.<\/p>\n

No, I\u2019m speaking of the painful mistrust I\u2019ve created in my own home by running away one morning last week.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve enjoyed my four-year sentence here at the minimum security facility known as Wally\u2019s house. Two squares a day \u2013 although they did cut back my wet food a few months ago; apparently my mid-section was such that I looked like a Hindenburg<\/a><\/strong>, covered in brown fur that is…Ironic as there\u2019s also another Hindenburg in the house who shall remain nameless, but let\u2019s say he can\u2019t grow any fur on his head these days. Maybe we should drop his<\/strong><\/em> wet food too!<\/p>\n

Otherwise, the penitentiary, err, house, is comfortable and I\u2019m allowed to sleep on the couch during TV time\u2026so not too bad overall. We do have scheduled exercise a couple of times a day in the yard. Those outings are monitored by Wally who is the warden, and essentially it\u2019s a shackle-free event. I\u2019m allowed to roam the yard at my leisure\u2026checking in on the free deer and squirrel poop buffet (Golden Corral<\/a><\/strong>, eat your heart out), and generally keeping a tight perimeter by startling the same deer and squirrels.<\/p>\n

Warden Wally, bless his heart, is laissez-faire as a security guard. That means he\u2019s out there with me, but let\u2019s me roam free as long as I don\u2019t cross the borders.\u00a0 When I get near an area he had designated as border, he yells out \u2013 \u201cHudson, come here\u2026\u201d and of course I ignore him, much the way every child in our town ignores the word \u201cno.\u201d To be fair though, many haven\u2019t heard the word no\u2026ever<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n

Must say, the Warden\u2019s yelling irks me a bit – not sure what the problem is, I\u2019m four years old and that\u2019s really 28 right? So, I\u2019m pretty mature\u2026and anyway, what are the chances I\u2019ll make a break for the border?<\/p>\n

Well, I\u2019d say the chances were pretty good this week!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

One morning a couple of days ago, the Warden had finished getting dressed and let me out for my post breakfast constitutional in the yard. Unleashed of course. You see, all felons know it pays to build a high degree of trust with the guards, so when break out day comes, they\u2019re completely taken off guard\u2026.like Warden Wally.<\/p>\n

I leisurely headed to the stonewall area near a barn on our property. Gingerly stepping behind the barn out of eyesight, I jumped over the stone wall and into the neighbor\u2019s yard.<\/p>\n

Minutes later I could tell that the Warden figured out something was amiss\u2026he didn\u2019t hear the telltale rustle of the leaves signaling I\u2019m in the area and began calling my name. Now it was 7am, so he couldn\u2019t really scream loudly, but I could sense his displeasure even in the muted tones of his voice.<\/p>\n

So, I did what any well-respected dog would do\u2026trotted off the other way!<\/p>\n

Yeah, my last view of Warden Wally was him standing on the stone wall and trying to figure a way off the wall and around the neighbor\u2019s fence. By the time he accomplished that, I was around the other side of the neighbor\u2019s house.<\/p>\n

However, the Warden knows me all too well\u2026he went around the neighbor\u2019s house and cut me off on my bolt for freedom. He really shouldn\u2019t have caught me, but one of the neighbors was packing his truck for work and I decided he looked like an easy mark for a head scratch<\/a><\/strong>\u2026and he was.<\/p>\n

Anyway, by then, the Warden was finally on me and the neighbor just laughed. The Warden was amazingly calm since I didn\u2019t listen, kept on going and, yes, it was 7 in the morning so he wasn\u2019t going to scream. He got me back safely to the penitentiary through the woods with a small bit of frustration. I didn\u2019t make eye contact, always a good plan when you\u2019ve messed up.<\/p>\n

All’s well that ends well, eh? Well, life has changed here a bit though \u2013 the Warden no longer lets me run free in the yard \u2013 the shackles have returned, well I call them shackles\u2026 you would probably call it a leash. He\u2019s held fast to this new rule of me not going free and I think he\u2019s going to stick with it\u2026well until the snow arrives! I suppose it\u2019s the price I need to pay for not listening. The punishment could have been worse.<\/p>\n

There was one scary moment yesterday though \u2013 Wally said \u201chey jump in the car we are going for a ride\u2026\u201d \u2013 well I\u2019m a sucker for that every time. Thinking we were going to pick up his wife (my couch buddy); I was in for a surprise.\u00a0 He drives for quite a bit and then we get out and go into this building with cement floors, and there are other dogs around and people too. Oh no, I\u2019ve really screwed the pooch \u2013 well not literally, you know what I mean, I\u2019m in for it \u2013 and here comes the real punishment. He speaks to one of the people in uniform and then takes my collar with him \u2013 OK, now I\u2019m convinced that\u2019s for Wally\u2019s memorabilia box, and he\u2019s he sending me off to the glue factory<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Well, obviously it wasn\u2019t the glue factory because I\u2019m writing this\u2026no, it was in fact Pet Smart and he had taken me there for a grooming appointment. So now I smell really good, but the Warden is pretty clear that I\u2019m still on a leash\u2026oh well.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s my story, and I know you other dogs out there being kept in the same minimum security penitentiary are jealous right now. I mean how many of you can say your punishment the last time you broke out was a spa day and <\/strong>a Pedi? Hmmmmm?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Quite the week here at WallyWorld. We experienced a series of events which significantly changed the face of how we get along, treat each other with respect and build or tear down trust. I\u2019m not speaking of the tragedies in Paris last week; although my puppy heart goes out to the Parisians and especially Diesel the… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[7,23,28],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Clfm-63","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=375"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":383,"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375\/revisions\/383"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wallyword.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}